Exploration of the loss of a lover and confidant…..
I was so clueless. You sat up on the bed cross-legged and put your chin down on your palm. You were smiling at me as I lay back on the pillow. You were telling me that you didn’t really love me. Your head titled sideways, your beautiful blue eyes fixed on mine and you told me that someday I would find someone who really did love me. Of course, I didn’t believe it; that you didn’t love me or that I would ever find anyone who would. And of course, I have and I want to tell you that you were right….like I have always wanted to tell you about everything good that has happened to me…I have no idea where you are of if you are even still alive.
The house is cold, colder than the warm spring morning outside. You didn’t come home last night and I wonder where you are. The warm water and soap distracts me as I clean last night’s dishes. I open the window and hear the conversations from the parking lot next door at the 7-Eleven as if they where taking place in the room next to me. I wonder how long I should wait before I call your parents to see if they have heard from you. I sit on the couch and pick up a book, read a sentence or two then stop to listen for your footsteps on stairs. I want to tell you how worried I am but you are not here to tell.
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